Homage to Kartini Day

As a belated homage to Kartini Day on April 21 (Indonesia), please allow me to share what has been withheld in my heart for a little too long. In my 25 years of living, I have heard/been told multiple times that women are supposed to be silent. Of course, this premise would be asserted in several different ways; however, all of which would only lead to one final conclusion: women should not have a voice. For instance, a few years ago, a friend of mine and I had a series of discussions involving the role of men and women in today's society. At the end of the day, he would enforce the notion that the ideal woman is she who is quiet and demure, doesn't talk much and/or exert her opinions in public. In addition to that, I vividly remember two other major occurrences in which two male individuals specifically told me - in two separate incidents - that I was rebellious and very strongly opinionated [as a girl], respectively. Lol wut? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be hearing that if the guys and I shared the same chromosome pattern. I usually wouldn't give a flying donut about feminist (or non-feminist) jokes or what-have-you, but when such blatant contempts - intentional or not - are directed right at me, I can't help but feel sorry for the givers of these ingenious comments for being stuck in the prehistoric times of modern civilization. Let me tell ya, y'all have a long way to go and lots to catch up on.

Nonetheless, I am grateful. I am grateful for being able to confidently declare that I am a modern woman. No, I am not giving up marriage because I am self-sufficient and think that I am better off without a man. On the contrary, I would gladly bear my partner's children and assume my responsibilities as a mother and wife. No, I do not think that women are better than men, because I think that we're clearly apples and oranges (thx for the new term, my bro).

I am a modern woman because I am a woman of voice. I am a woman of power - capable of making her own decisions, rooted in her own beliefs and having the courage to voice them. I am a woman who laughs out loud. I am a woman who knows when to refrain and when to speak up. I am a woman who is willing to split the dinner bill with her man on a date. I am a woman who will teach her children to respect their father just as they respect their mother. I am a woman of value. I am a woman who will raise my daughter to be her own person, because she can. As Emma Watson says, if someone tells you that you can't be an engineer because you're a girl, do exactly that - become an engineer.

Note: There are many women out there living under dire conditions, who are not as privileged as those with such freedom. It will be a long fight, and certainly a ruthless one. But we are not done - we never will be. Not until women are treated with the same respect and granted the same opportunities, and beheld beyond institutionalized stereotypes, will we stop striving to claim the rights that are rightfully ours. We're not scary; we just want to be free.

- Hazel